Fish Sandwich and Onion Rings

It was an unprecedented experience in my 8 years of marriage that I have to celebrate my wedding anniversary alone on the first day of June. To begin with, I am so proud of myself that I didn't forget the date. On that day there was no fancy dinner and no red roses to offer to my significant other. For my own consolation, I hold on to the cliche, 'it's the thought that matters'.

I called home to wish my wife the 8th wedding anniversary wish. Believe it or not, she didn't even think of the anniversary until I called her. Her excuse was she had a busy day with a list of thing to do on a Monday morning and also she hadn't fully recovered from the weekend trip to Genting with my kids and my relatives from Singapore. I told her that I just woke up at noon and had cereals for lunch with lots of milk. She urged me to treat myself a fancy meal for dinner.

We talked again in the evening. She just had a juicy seafood platter at Manhattan Fish Market with my kids. Then they had a chocolate cake with 8 candles.

A few hours later, on the other side of the world, I walked into Burger King to pack my favourite fish sandwich and onion rings.

It was a tasteless anniversary, missing out the right ingredients. But looking at the big picture, a good marriage is not all about counting and celebrating the milestones. Though it is nice to do, the heart of the matter is about re-visiting the pledge, fulfilling it and maintaining the connection between the two souls. The soul doesn't recognise border and physical distance but it needs the on-going connection. Before the end of the day, I wish that I will be faithful to my marital pledge and my soul has a lifetime connection to my soul mate. With the will of God, as long as I am able to keep the flame, I don't mind the solitary anniversary dinner of fish sandwich and onion rings, this year, next year and the years to come.

Summer of 09 (This is not a new song)

May is ending for a new beginning.

It's a little too early to announce officially the arrival of summer for this year. But it's summer anyway. What else can it be when you're out there in the day, the temperature is as high as 49 degrees Celsius? A friend told me that it could be higher; but they would never highlight it as above 50 degrees or else they have to declare a holiday. Outdoor workers have started their siesta from 12:30 to 15:00 or else their employer will be fined up to Dh30,000 and banned from getting the permit to work. The sky is totally bare and blue. The clouds have gone away. Humidity is still bearable now but it is said that the monsoon in Mumbai will bring moisture that will push humidity to the uncomfortable zone in Dubai soon.

The AC runs the ultra-marathon daily. Thank God it's a centralised AC in my building. For summer's sake, it's not Haier.

Drinking water business should reach its peak as people are advised to drink more regularly. But it is the ice-cream that has been the popular craving.

Thin and skimpy clothes are popular summer wear. Some people really dress for it.

As the skirts get shorter, the days get longer. The sun is up as early as 05:30 and set as late as 19:00. Thank God, it's not a fasting month just yet.

Night time is a short retreat. Parks are merrier after sunset with families and friends having dinner picnic during weekend.

Runners like me, eat early dinner to have the night running, sometimes midnight running too.

And by the way, I have a pimple up there at the centre of my forehead. A pimple at the age of 36?? Strange. I thought of blame it on the weather. But on second thought, I like to believe that the summer makes me feel young again, like a beach boy of 17, carefree and footloose.

For all those staring at the sun at about the same angle from where I see it, have a happy summer....

Many Happy Returns

Aimi is now seven. It is still clear in my mind that seven years back, I was sobbing shamelessly when I was alone at the hospital corridor. I lost all the ego and pride after going through an intense experience in one of the labour rooms in Putrajaya Hospital, after watching Aimi's head stuck on her way out and my wife kept pushing for hours. When my wife did the pushing, she squeezed my arms so I can imagine how painful it was. Aimi had somehow made a wrong turn just before her delivery. That had caused the complication. She was kind of hesitated to be with us. At one point in the labour room, I had thought of losing her. Eventually, with God's blessing she is now here with us in this world. Aimi's birthday is one of the most important event in my life. It is the day I have had the best gift from God which I have no words to express how thankful I am. So I travelled from the Middle East to Malaysia to be reunited with my girl. I was with my family, isolated and off lined to get the best out of the little time we had.

The simple celebration

She's not into any kind of dolls because they're not alive. Instead she loves animals.

She loves almost all sort of animals, including the slimy cold-blooded creature.

We're in our little hut seeing the rain

Indeed we had seen enough of the rain and when it stopped, we're thankful.

The girl and her father, messing with the sand.

At the floating edge feeling the wind and the waves

x x x x x x x x x

In one hot and humid afternoon, I dropped by at my son's school to see him in his Tae Kwando class. He was very happy to see me. He is a new kid in the arena. He just joined the class a couple of months back and has a white belt wrapped around his waist. In that class I can tell that in my presence, he has done his level best to show off all he's got. On our way home we had a little chat.

Me : Why is it so important that you must have the yellow belt, Dif Dif?
Hadiff : Neshan has a green belt. Kak Aimi has yellow. So I want to get the yellow and green belt too.
Me : I can see that you did great in there but did you do that because of your friend, your sister or me?
Hadiff : I told you that I want that yellow and green belt. My teacher says I 'm good.
Me : Of course you are. Then let's agree on something now. You want to get the yellow belt, then green and all the way to the black because you want to improve yourself, not because of your friend or Aimi or your teacher or me...
Hadiff : Papa, what's 'improve'?
Me : To do better la. And get better and better than who and what you're now. Your friend might go to a different school. Kak Aimi might find other interest. I might not be there to see all the great things you do. But if you do it because you want to improve yourself for the good reasons, then you'll always find yourself feeling good doing it. Got it?
Hadiff : Got it.




I am not sure how much of the idea of self-drive to self-improvement has really sunk in his head. I am not sure how much he has understood the depth of our little conversation. My point is that I will not be there to motivate him in all his future undertakings. I wish he is aware that within himself, there is a source of inspiration and motivation and this will make him mentally strong to survive even when he is alone in the barren desert. He did not say ' fifty, fifty ' this time. I'm sure one day he will get it.

x x x x x x x x x x

My wife has finally made her decision to sub-specialize in neurology, despite her initial intention to be a cardiologist. This has a lot to do with me being away and the kids' well being. Being a neurologist, she can spend more time with the kids since there will be less time in the hospital doing the on-calls and etcetera. I respect her decision which is purely a mother's sacrifice. She has put aside her own interest. Her decision has somehow disappointed her boss and the team in cardiology. Anyhow, she will be graduating with masters in internal medicine in August. Insyallah, I will be there to see her walk the stage to receive her masters. I still feel bad for not attending her graduation in Tasmania, years back.

It is going to be a while for me before my next home trip in August. This beautiful image of home is a magnetized milestone that keeps pulling me back.

Missed Calls of Misery

We have this machine, named ML1, in the chocolate factory. It has the lowest reliability performance in the last week report. And the week before. And weeks before. The reliability team for this machine has been under a lot of pressure to get the machine up and running, from the current 57% reliability to the target 80%. The expert for this machine from the reliability team was Gordon.

I was with Gordon in the office last night. We had a long trouble shooting and adjustment work at ML1. The cooling tunnel got stuck very frequently of late. There were mechanical misalignments at many critical points. Each time it happened, the chocolate got too cold due to the long storage and formed cracked lines. We had big time downtime to remove all the chocolate and to rework it. Gordon was our man to lead the corrective work. He has done all the precise alignments and new settings adjustment of the cooling tunnel. So we had this little talk in the office at 11PM last night.

Gordon : I'm leaving after 11PM. Since 7PM we don't have any carriage jam.
Myself : Tell me what you've done today.

My tone was a little sarcastic since I have heard the same assurance since few weeks but the problem kept coming back. He sensed that I was not convinced. So he took the trouble to take a piece of fresh paper and illustrate all his work today. In order not to discourage him, I was patiently listening to his explanation. It seemed endless, then I cut him.

Myself : Hey Gordon, we bought KFCs for the contractors working extra hours today. There are a few packs extra. Grab one before you go home, will you?

Gordon smiled at my thoughtfulness. He ended his explanation and headed to the cafeteria.
I was minding my own affair in the office. The server has been down. My work has been slowed. After about half an hour, Gordon came back with a happy full stomach. I signed off his late night transport arrangement.

Myself : Thank you for tonight. But stay tuned. I might call you up if we face a problem again.
Gordon : Ok.

He left the factory close to midnight. I left hours later. The next morning I woke up late. When I woke up my phone battery was low. So I charged it by my bedside. I left my apartment to pay some bills and did a little shopping at the Mall of Emirates. I'm flying home this Friday and I haven't bought anything to pack along. I spent hours there without carrying my mobile phone. When I got home, I had 7 missed calls. I noticed one of the numbers was my wife's. So I dialled.

My son Hadiff fell down from bed this morning. He has bruises on his cheek. He is in paediatric ward for further monitoring after he vomitted twice. My wife said there is nothing to worry. It's just a formality in paediatric practice just to be certain. It is a huge relief but the thought of my little boy sleeping in the hospital gives me some kind of uneasiness. Next, I dialled the other missed call. It was my counterpart, Harry's. Harry answered my call.

Harry : Man, we called you many many times. Have you heard?
Myself : What's wrong?
Harry : Gordon passed away.

It was hard for me to swallow. The man was with me last night. He was very much alive - no sign of dying, not at all.

Gordon has been with the company for a good 10 years. He died today of heart failure at the age close to 40. Life is short. Death seizes us without warning. I was one of those who occasionally pushed him to get results. He tried hard to prove himself. It might as well be that damn f***ing old machine and it's stupid design that stressed him up and killed him. It is a depressive thought that I was also playing a part when I was thinking of the possibilities of factors that push him to his early exit, leaving his wife alone in this world to raise his three young daughters. What a misery.

Lost

I was lost in the real world for a while and had difficulty to find my way back to the blog sphere. Thankfully, I'm not dead and gone. Indeed, I have friends who held the torch high. They have guided and encouraged me to come back into this virtual space. So here I am. During the stint of my disappearance, I have been busy with a couple of things.....

The Home Search
My tenancy contract is expiring this June. It's the time of the year to check various sites in the net in search for a spot to live in from hundreds of options available. It makes no sense for me to continue renting in my current apartment when there are better and cheaper options available in abundance now. It's kind of nomadic when I really come to think about it. There is no permanence and no sense of belonging. I found myself checking out from one apartment to another, to see if I can fit in. One day I found this nice place in Dubai Marina, affordable (since the rental rate has gone down now and my accommodation allowance has been increased by 40%) but relatively pricey and deadly tempting. It's got a view to die for, from the balcony on the 9th floor. It was really a boastful view of the chic Marina Walk with the nicely moored yachts and the tamed green waterways which narrowly open to the Arabian Sea. A yearly rent for this apartment is equivalent to the full ownership of a single storey terrace house in Malaysia. Luckily, I'm 36, old enough to resist the temptations that are so rife in Dubai.

The view from an apartment that I almost signed an annual deal

My search has been quite extensive that my final decision has gone beyond my expectation. I have linked up with this desperate banker who offers me to own an apartment. It's a mutuality business deal given the current situation in Dubai where supply is exceeding the demand, people are losing their jobs and leaving Dubai and properties values have touched the bottom. The bank need buyers and cash. I need an affordable home. After a tedious scrutiny of my financial statements, my application has been approved. So now I can skip the annual home search and I have a place I own. I'm buying at almost the lowest price. If the property value bounces back and the rental rates goes high again in years to come, I am unaffected. The unit that I own is an apartment, not as breathtaking as the one in Dubai Marina, but it has a peaceful view from the balcony on the fourth floor. Looking down there is a courtyard, a square garden and close to a small swimming pool. I will have my hands dirty cleaning the apartment and probably I will be doing wall painting too. There will be furnishing work to be done next. By the way, the apartment is numbered 408. I really hope it's not going to be a freaky lost chamber in a wild and out-of-track time as shown in the movie 1408.

The view from the apartment that I finally signed an ownership deal

The bedroom window which I plan to fix a built-in settee for the daylight reading

The empty living room of my new apartment.

Joining the Club

My running has caused me to loose a lot of essential muscles. It freaks me out thinking that my mother, my mother-in-law, my grandma, my aunties and all, would nag me the next time they meet me. They would say repeatedly either " kau tak makan ke apa? " or " kau sakit ke? ". So I join this fitness club. They have assigned me a personal trainer to look into my needs, make a plan and assist me in the execution. My trainer is called Ren. He has trained many marathoners in Dubai. In our first session, Ren asked me, "So what do you want to achieve?". Really, I like this question as I am a dreamer and it has led me to endless happy dreams. But I only remembered telling Ren, "I want to clock in below 4 hours 30 minutes in my next marathon. In doing so, I want to maintain my ideal weight. I want overall good muscle tone with good flexibility. Mind you, I am 36 now. And I want that six packs too on my ab". Ren said, "Well, considered done". After that happy scoping session, life has been really tough for me. I am working out with Ren 3 times a week and he has really worked me out. It's regimental and dreadful. There are days when I wake up and can't have my limbs straightened. But it makes me feel good. No pain, no gain.

Back to the Desert
Amer, an extreme sport enthusiast and my other office mates had organized a marvellous desert trip for our team building and bonding last weekend. This has been my second outing in the desert. The desert setting was somewhat different from what I remembered in my first trip. We were there after series of rain that hit Dubai lately. The sand was moist and hard as our 4x4 traversed through it. It was not as barren as before. The rain has brought about patches of vegetation in the desert landscape. We had fun. The weirdest thing we did was taking turn to drive on the 4x4 blind-folded, while others gave direction. But kids, don't try it on your own.

The lost people in the desert and the green patches that grow after the frequent rain

The sightless lady boss driving in the desert - she's a natural cool driver

Coco Cola tastes better in the desert

Back Home
I have booked my ticket home on the 24th April to spend time with my daughter on her birthday. She is a Taurean, a really hard type to figure out. I am pondering on ways to reach her core in the nick of time. Another tough task that I'm also strategizing at the back of my mind. Lately my wife has informed that my daughter has displayed an early sign of unpleasant negativity, which worries me. In order to leave the chocolate factory for 11 days, I found myself soaked in my work trying to get things done well in advance.


So there you have them. My excuses for not blogging for the past 2 weeks.

Press Cutting

The Earth Hour is over now. What is left now is the conscience at the back of the minds for those who support this initiation and also the commitment to do our bits. As for me, I have my words heard and printed in today's Gulf News.

The reporter decided to put on the print the photograph in which I was backing the camera. I was chatting with a friend, Ahmed who came with his gorgeous girlfriend to join the crowd. So I was not on the spotlight. Ahmed's girlfriend (the girl standing between the A and R) and my Karrimor grey backpack are the ones shine in the limelight.

Reading on, I saw my details and words being printed. It is kind of weird feeling. I was a little shy, a little honoured and a little disbelief. Overall, I consider Kevin, the reporter, came out with about 80% accuracy in his story telling. It's a good job considering hardly any story is 100% accurate. If I were given a chance to amend a bit, I would remove the word 'extremely' since I have no recollection at all of using that word that night and also to replace the sentence 'my wife and children attended the similar event in Kuala Lumpur' with 'my wife and children switched off the lights and watched a movie in Klang'. That's the truth though it's a lot less favourable. Anyway, the man has to do with what he has to do in that nick of time, in the darkness, with the crowd and all the noises.

The full report can be read by clicking here.

Lastly, Kevin made a small error in his report. They were not candles that spelled EARTH HOUR. They were battery-operated miniature lights. Luckily, they didn't use candles, otherwise when it rained, the aliens would laugh at our snuffed candles.

Earth Hour

I called home at about 4:30PM (Dubai time) to check on my wife and kids. I was imagining that they would in the dark in our home in Klang and I thought it would be good for story telling in their dark hour. Well, the story telling in the dark is a thing in the past, I guess. Not for my wife and kids as they were waiting outside the cinema for a movie show. They participated the Earth Hour by simply not being at home. Nevertheless, I did get a story from my son, Hadiff. This is how the story goes.

" Once upon a time, there was a cowboy. That's me! The cowboy lives with the king, that's papa and the queen, that's mama. The cowboy found a chicken (not hen, mind you) that lays egg. The egg becomes golden egg. So the king and the queen live happily ever after, thanks to the cowboy. The end. "

We asked him why his sister Aimi did not play any part of the story. He said cheekily, " Oh, she's just a cow ".

* * * * * * * * * *

A friend of mine thinks Earth Hour is nothing more than a cheap, feel good gimmick. He speaks his mind clearly in the FB. I guess he has seen enough to see another coming.

* * * * * * * * * *

Another friend of mine was too eager to get the Earth Hour started that she got herself ahead of time by 24 hours and thought she had missed it. Luckily, she expressed herself in FB and someone else pointed out to save her Earth Hour.

* * * * * * * * * *

We all have our different take over this matter. I was there at The Walk watching the event. A reporter from Gulf News asked me what I think about the event. I said, "it's for a good cause. It may be a gimmick, but it's a world wide gimmick that unites all those who are concerned in conserving the Earth. There are many children coming here tonight and this gives the parents something positive to talk about to their children". I am not sure what may come out if they ever decide to put my quote and photo on the paper tomorrow. We'll see.

So, Earth, if you're reading this, I hope you enjoy your happy hour as much as the people who love you.

By the way it rained in Dubai during the Earth Hour, at around 9PM.

Preparation before the Earth Hour - The big words 'EARTH HOUR' being laid on the beach

The sitting arrangement for some important earthlings during the Earth Hour

The sitting arrangement for the little earthlings who would be doing the colouring work

Voila! The big words 'EARTH HOUR' glow in the dark for aliens to see

Moments before the Earth Hour at The Walk

During the Earth Hour at The Walk - can you see the aliens living above us? Ha ha ha

Before the Earth Hour at Dubai Marina

During the Earth Hour at Dubai Marina - Any difference? You tell me...

The Emaratis sing in the dark

Others eat with and without the lights

It's better to be hopeful rather than be hopelessly ignorant, I think.

They don't give free things in Dubai that often but tonight I get free T-shirt and refreshments too.