Melt Like Chocolate

It has been a while since I last found myself reflecting life and zooming the depth of my being. I have been busy with the superficiality of life, moving around, getting things done and delayed. I have left this tranquil temple in the blogsphere that provides a stopover to fish my thought and reflect. I blame it on the Facebook addiction, my busy work, my laziness and perhaps the heat of the summer. I think I can blame it on everything else but that doesn't change the fact that I have been a bad blogger, a real bad one. So here I am, making another attempt to come back.

I was kind of sick for the past few days. I had thick phlegm stuck in my chest and I had been coughing them out every single chance I got. I enjoyed watching that yucky yellow stuff swimming away into the sinkhole. Now the congestion on my chest has been cleared but I am having a dreadful time holding back that glue-like juice that keeps sliding down my nose. I called my boss at 6AM that I couldn't make it to work. She said sleepily over the phone, 'take care of yourself'. So I did just that...taking care of myself.

I made myself bihun sup with chicken and tomatoes. I drank lots of warm water and peed a lot too. I took my medicine every 8 hours that really helped to dry up my nose. I cleaned my room, kept my washing machine busy with loads of smelly garments. When the sun was on the verge of setting down, I drove my Jeep, Lucky to a petrol kiosk. I had  juicy Subway sandwiches while waiting for Lucky to get washed, wiped and vacuumed dry. I heard myself saying when I started the engine, 'Lucky, I love you, you're so handsome today'.

I went back to my room looking at things that I have been neglected for so long. My plants and my toys. I found myself talking to the plant in my room and toying with the stuffed kittens, the gifts from my kids. I called home to wish my wife and kids good night. They sounded sleepy and related briefly about the things that happened today in their lives. After they hung up, I was alone again looking back at the plant and the stuffed kittens. I just realized that when the plant talked to me earlier, it used my wife's voice and the stuffed kittens I played with, mimicked the voices of my kids. I cried and tried hard to hold back the unstoppable tears and the snots that came along. It was a mess. I tried to find the reason for this madness. I have somehow mustered the strength to get back and carry on.

I am thankful that I have had this moment. Being sick, being selfish, being me with the little things that mean nothing to others, but only matter to me. I have to admit I was a little lost lately and now I found myself again. I think I will get back to work tomorrow.