The Assorted Feelings in December

The weather in December is very pleasant. I enjoy being outdoor where I can see the sky and feel the chilled breeze. The sky is no longer an empty blue space. The sky of Dubai is now patched with shapeless clouds. The clouds are always on the move. As they moved, they change the tone of the day. In some of its varied tones I feel like I was looking at the sky not so much different from the one in my home country.

I was far from home to feel the joy of Eidul Adha. I was working. There are a lot of work outside the factory. There is factory expansion work. There is relocation of machinery. I was outside in the good weather doing the risk assessments and follow ups. At least the assorted work kept me busy, kept me from feeling miserably, lonely on these holidays. I had great dinner, after work with my buddy Ash at Chilli's, Jumeirah. I had steak and prawns instead of rendang and ketupat. I feel thankful for the rezeki, when some people in Haiti have their meals made of mud and salt; and some people in Gaza scrounging for grass to survive.

I have made the Starbucks at Persian Court, Ibnu Battuta Mall as my favourite reading spot. The ambience there is majestic. It is cozy, less crowded, such a great hang-out place after work. After reading several pages, when my eyes need a break for zooming out , I rest my head and stare at the high ceiling. It is one of the places here that makes me feel tiny. It dwarfs all the problems in my head. It feels good knowing your problems are petty.

Though I eat well in Dubai, my running has made me feel light and skinny. The food consumed is digested and converted to fuel my distance running. I had about 1 month plus before the Dubai Marathon. I have prepared all the gears for running on that day. I have tried them on in one of my 2.5 hours running. The fabric for my shirt and shorts is elastic, soft, good sweat absorbent and it dries fast. So after the endurance running, it is proven that none of them are abrasive. I don't have that painful blister at the nipples and the groin areas. If you want to know what I mean, try running in cotton or polyester garments for more than 1 hour, and then hit the shower. You'll hear yourself screaming aargggh or ouchhh when the blisters get their wash.

Though physically I am prepared, mentally I am not there yet. Long distance running requires mental strength more than anything. Sometimes towards the end of my running, when I feel tired and drained, there is an inner voice calling and tempting to stop torturing myself and to end this madness and to head back to my room. I am killing this voice by sharpening my mindfulness at doing things. I am trying to sustain the focus at whatever I am doing at the present and putting the finishing line mental magnet to pull me to the end of it. For example, I try to finish reading a book in one sitting. So far it's not quite successful, but at least I made it in 3 or 4 sittings. Similarly, I try it on my other work and chores.

Yesterday I felt accomplished after ending my greatest suffering in Dubai. It was the suffering one has to face to get the UAE driving license (International driving license from Malaysia is not recognised in UAE). I finally pass my road test after failing twice. The first attempt was in late September. I did well in my first attempt. I followed all the rules. The route was difficult - I had to go through 2 roundabouts in a heavy lunch-hour traffic with many roadside construction works, but I managed to drive without any obvious mistake. But the officer failed me. He reported that I drove with hazards which I did not know what. I felt sorry for myself. The second attempt was last November. This time I argued with the officer. He asked me to change lane but ahead there was an intersection. So I refused. He got pissed off and he told me that I did not make timely road judgment. He said I should not hesitate to change the lane. He said I should be able to do so before I reach the intersection. He failed me. I felt like an asshole. So I had my third attempt yesterday. I reached the driving school at 7AM and I was called for the test at 1PM. The long wait was worthwhile as the officer testing me this time was kind as so was the traffic condition. I drove, passed the test and went home feeling like a lucky star.